Quote of the night last night. "I'm a little harder than most women, so I can take it a little harder." This was my response to my drink of choice after I decided not to drink any more beer; Jack Daniels. It is my favorite. Anyway, last night. Wow. Amazing. We had one hell of a good time, so good in fact, that Sam's brother Jay decided to call in sick to work since he couldn't get up this morning to make the drive back to Rochester. We were a little hard on him, but we still love the guy. We have concluded that the guys can't handle their alcohol like the women can. us gals didn't have any problems this morning, besides the fact that we were a little tired.
I woke up this morning feeling so good that all I wanted to do was crack a beer. I wasn't sure what every one would think, so I didn't crack one until 5 or so. Turns out that everyone would've been quite proud of me, so next time I'll just crack one.
We ended up at double K's where there was a bridal party. Needless to say, we brought that much more of a party for those ladies. There was a DJ, so we had to dance and party the night away. We then wandered over to the silver dollar where the four of us were the only patrons in the bar. They had a band and we some how talked the band into another set, because we were here for the band...well, maybe not. The band was really good though. We never got the name of the band, but they bassist reminded us of ZZTop.
Our last bar of the night was the pour house, although it was also our first bar of the night. We ended up playing pool where I won both games, though I shouldn't have had. That's what happens when the other team scratches on the 8 ball and get the 8 ball in too early. Pat was pissed. He did both of those ^_^. Jay had to talk to him to make sure he was OK. Apparently he's not very good at losing. Sometimes its a wonder what those boys will do.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About me and my life. What I want to do with my life and how I should start to change my life. Like I've said before, that I'm living for me, but I think that I need to change that slightly. I keep telling myself that I'm going to be leaving Marshall soonish (December, if I've got everything planned out right) so I can't tie myself down. I've been lying to me when it comes to that. I think that I'm just scared that what happened to me before will happen to me again. I know it is a long shot, but it is still hard to dismiss. My ex mentally abused me. I was never good enough and no matter what I did, his plan for me was what i was allowed to do. The best thing I ever did for me what go to college. It was there that I realized that there was better for me out there, and left him. The hardest part of that, was that my family really liked him, so I was to blame at first. The my parents started to find out what he was like and they finally understood why I left. I keep saying no to people because I really am that scared to end up in a position that I was in before.
Sitting here in Wisconsin, I've a lot of time to think about me and where I am at. I know that I can't plan everything out, but I can at least try to think about what i should change. So, as i sit here, I think I know my first step on to changing my life. But I still don't know if I can let my walls down just yet. Maybe I'll finally just give up on those walls and just let what ever come, come.
-Amanda
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