Here I am, doing something that I always said that I wouldn't. I'm normally the type of person to keep my mouth shut unless I really feel that I need to speak my mind. I recently watched a video on youtube from the University of Minnesota-Carlton School of Business class of 2011 ( I think that was the college), and they guy who did the commencement speech really stuck a chord in me. It all came down to starting over with a brand new me, getting my voice out there and to not be the "quite me", which for those that know me know that I am anything but quiet. With that said, you have the reason why I decided to start this blog.
Now a little about me. I'm from Minnesota, a college student and I work in the resturaunt business. Sometimes I wonder about why I am still in this business when all I dream about is getting out of it. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do right now, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I wonder if sometimes that it's not the job that I dislike, but the people that come in. From where I'm at, there's this aura in town. People that were born here and still live here think that they are better than everyone else. No matter what I do, I will never do it well enough. But, these people won't complain to you, they leave little notes or write letters/e-mails to the boss saying how horrible everything was. From being in this business I know what needs to be done. If you don't like something or feel that something should be different, say something. I can't fix whatever it is that I am doing wrong unless I am told. Also, don't judge too quickly. As I said before, I can be quite quiet. I'm not a naturally bubbly person, so I won't act all chipper like others I work with. As I've been told, I am quite good at what I do, but I know I'm not perfect and I am the hardest judge of my self. I don't feel that I will ever be good enough in this line of business.
Ugh, sorry. Just a little venting. That same thing happened to me tonight at work. Mind you that it was my second night bartending and it was pretty busy. It annoyed me that the ladies decided that they shouldn't tell me anything. Yeah, I've been here for 4.5 years, but I'm not perfect and I don't care much for you bitchy little customer. That's right, I said it. Grow a set of balls and tell me what I'm doing wrong. Don't go and bitch to someone else behind my back.
But here I am, thinking about my future and what I want to do with it. I have a degree in environmental science, but this lovely economic time here in the states isn't doing me any good. So I've decided to continue my education. I'm currently working on a math minor and I'm attempting to get into grad school. I've applied to the University of Tennessee-Knoxville for a 2nd bachelors in civil engineering and a masters in environmental engineering. I applied a month ago and I still haven't heard anything. My patience is being tried, and I don't have much of that to begin with. I really hope that I get in. I need a change in my life. I need out. I've been stuck in a place that I haven't wanted to be at for years and I feel that this is the place I need to go. Yeah, I know there is a whole world out there, but I need to take my life one step at a time. I've also taken the step to start living my life for me. I used to be the one that never took time off for myself. I'm overworked and under paid, but aren't we all. Now I take some time, not as much as I still should, but I'm doing better. For my first summer of this new me I'm taking approx 35 days of vacation. The highlight of it all is my trip to Hawaii...by my self. I can't wait.
But on this note, I leave you. It's late and morning will come sooner that I think.
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